In the new Marvel TV series, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, the government introduces a new Captain America. The new one replaces the original Captain America, Steve Rogers, who retired from his career as a superhero at the end of the movie, Avengers Endgame. Max, who was watching the show with me, rejected the new Captain America right away. I tried to keep an open mind, but it was hard. We loved Steve Rogers. Any successor is going to have to prove himself.
On Thursday I had a similar experience at my ALS clinic visit. The ALS clinic involves four teams of specialists who rotate through the exam room. One of the teams is the care coordinator from the local chapter of the ALS Association, along with a social worker. Some months ago, Suzy, the fabulous social worker, left. On Thursday, a new social worker appeared. I will call her Rhonda.
As with the new Captain America, I tried to keep an open mind about Rhonda, despite her off-putting first moves: when she entered the room, she went right to the computer without saying anything. After a minute, she introduced herself to me. She never acknowledged Barry. She only acknowledged Ellen, who was there via FaceTime, after I called attention to her.
Rachel, the care coordinator, joined us by Zoom, and took the lead on asking questions. One of her questions was, “How has your mood been?” To which I answered, “Pretty even.” That’s the truth. I definitely have episodes of sadness, but most of the time I’m content, due partly to a low dose of anti-anxiety medication.
Rhonda had been silent throughout the conversation. As we neared the end of their time, she asked, “How’s your mental health treating you? Are you still seeing your therapist?”
Seriously?! First of all, we don’t even know each other, and that’s your opening question? Second, weren’t you listening when I answered Rachel about my mood?
In my stunned state, I responded that although I’m not currently seeing my therapist, I still could if I wanted to.
She followed that with, “Do you feel depressed or sad or down?”
Ever?! Of course I get sad; I have ALS!
I responded, “No.”
As with teaching, it’s all about the relationship. Rhonda did nothing to establish a rapport. I reacted as many students do when they don’t trust the teacher: I refused to open up.
I have very high expectations of professionals and little tolerance for what I view as falling short. I do, however, believe that people can improve, especially with the right feedback. I don’t have a direct line of communication with Rhonda, but I will send some well crafted feedback to Rachel, who can pass it along. The real test will come in three months when I return for my next visit. Let’s all hope that Rhonda develops effective people skills in the interim.