Eulogy Part I

by Rabbi Jeffrey Silverstein on 6/26/26

The Jewish people have always prized the value of education; we know that learning and teaching are how we unlock the great potential of a world in repair. It is no surprise, then, that in our tradition we have many sources that speak to the honor due to teachers, but perhaps it is this selection from Talmud Bava Batra that speaks to us most today. Our sages taught, explaining a verse from the book of Daniel, that “‘those who lead others to righteousness will be like the stars forever and ever,’ These are school teachers.” and we could add today: “This is Jessie Towbin.”

Jessie was born in New Haven, Connecticut on April 23rd, 1970, though she grew up in Bethany from the time she was six months old. According to her mother, Linda, Jessie made herself known from her very first day – and she was instantly proud of her daughter. This was a pride that would only grow as Jessie’s marvelous character was revealed over the course of her childhood. Even as a pre-schooler and kindergartener, she demonstrated a deep sense of herself and those around her. An instance of this, that perhaps was an indication of her calling to teach, happened after she finished Kindergarten. 

During the year Jessie never complained about her teacher, who was known to be unpopular with students and parents alike. However, at the end of the year, when given the chance to reflect, Jessie shared her evaluation with the wisdom of a much older person. Linda shared that Jessie said, matter-of-factly, that her teacher “may know how to teach…but she doesn’t know how to be nice, and she doesn’t know how to take care of children.” 

When it was Jessie’s turn, she too knew how to teach, but she also knew how to treat her students with respect, to honor their dignity, and to take care of them. Much of this was simply a part of Jessie’s nature, however in her self-authored obituary, she also attributes her philosophy of teaching to the great deal of research on teaching and school reform that she had the privilege to study before ever setting foot in a classroom. For 24 years Jessie lived and honed her philosophy across four different schools, touching the lives of a great deal of students and fellow educators along her way. 

Jessie did not only teach in the classroom; she was generous with her talents and passions. Notably, Jessie was on the education committee for the Bridge Family Religion School at Temple De Hirsch Sinai. It is known around the religion school that her keen insight was truly instrumental as our programs have evolved. Her impact on our community is a legacy that we will feel for many years to come. 

In her life, through private journals, annotated bibliographies, curricula and lesson plans, letters, and in the last few years her blog, Jessie was a prolific writer. Her writing reveals much about who she was, about her sense of humor, her intellectual humility, and her deep wisdom.

In a 2017 blog post for CSTP (Center for Strengthening the Teaching Profession), Jessie wrote about her process of choosing a read-aloud book for her eighth graders after her initial choice of To Kill a Mockingbird didn’t capture her students’ attention. She writes, “most of the time, I have to start with my group of students in mind, and search for the book that will be the right match. I had forgotten to do that when I selected To Kill a Mockingbird, and then, against my better judgment, I continued to put the curriculum ahead of the students. Anisa’s question gave me the jolt I needed to change course. The next morning, I told the kids that I valued To Kill a Mockingbird and hoped they would each choose to read it at some point, but I could see that it was not the right book for the class at this time.” 

Later in the same post she writes: “I imagine that there are individuals who would see this course of events as a reason not to trust teachers’ professional judgment, and instead to centralize all decisions about instructional materials at the district or school board level. For me it has the opposite effect. It makes me think about the absurdity of individuals far removed from classrooms making decisions about text selections. If I, who know my students deeply, can occasionally make the wrong choice, how could it be alright to leave the decision making to individuals who don’t know my students at all?”

I will also share some of Jessie’s more recent words in two excerpts from her final blog post. In it, Jessie reflects on her experience living with ALS. Towards the beginning of the post, she writes:

“Occasionally I have a particular resentment for the people living with ALS who are slow progressors. I started going downhill within 9 months after diagnosis. That’s when my dominant arm lost all strength. Then at 11 months, I noticed my speech was sounding garbled. I had to give up driving after I fell and broke my elbow…So, at times, I have a special resentment for people living with ALS for many years who can speak and use their hands, and are maybe in a wheelchair or maybe not.”

And yet, true to the character she possessed and demonstrated throughout her life, at the end of the same post, Jessie writes: 

“Recently, I found out about a group of young women who are living with ALS. They have young children or don’t get to have children, because of this terrible disease. That helps put things in perspective for me. 

I’m lucky that I was able to have kids, and I was able to hold them while they were infants and toddlers. They are both young adults now. I was lucky to have so much time with my kids before I succumbed to the worst symptoms of ALS.” 

Even in her pain and grief at all she had lost, Jessie maintained an appreciation for all she had gotten to have and all she still had. And she had so much. In her life Jessie was brought so much joy from her sons Ethan and Max. She had a great love and devoted partner in Barry. She had the love and support of her parents and siblings. She had a Jewish identity that filled her life with pride and meaning. She had a calling and made a meaningful impact in a field for which she had immense passion. She had big communities and close friends. She had many teachers and many more students. 

Over the course of her life Jessie led so many to righteousness. She will truly shine as the stars forever and ever. May we continue to enjoy the reflection of her shine and feel the warmth from the legacy and words she left behind. Her memory WILL be for a blessing.