I had been working on a different post, but listening to the tragic plight of Ukrainians fleeing their country, I can’t help thinking of another story of flight from Ukraine, which I heard throughout my childhood. My grandmother, Miriam, her younger brother, Sam, and mother, Sarah, escaped the city of Kamenetz-Podolsk in Ukraine 100 years ago. Theirs was an escape from pogroms, violent attacks against Jewish people, which had occurred throughout Europe for centuries.
Ukrainians fleeing today wait for days to cross the border into Poland, Slovakia, Hungary, or Romania. One hundred years ago, it took my grandmother and her family three attempts over three years to cross the border into Romania. The most indelible part of their story for everyone who heard it, involved them walking across the frozen Dniester river at night. They had to bribe a soldier in advance to let them cross the river. On their first attempt, the soldier at the far bank of the river was not the one they had bribed, so they had to turn back.
As they were crossing the frozen river for the third time, the ice under Miriam’s feet suddenly cracked, and she fell in. Not wanting to attract attention, she didn’t call out. Only because Sarah happened to turn around and saw that her daughter was not there, did Sarah get to Miriam in time to pull her out.
After making their way through a series of European countries, Sarah, Miriam, and Sam met Sarah’s father in Paris. From there, they were to journey to America. Tragically, Sarah’s father had an ear infection and was not allowed to accompany them. Miriam cried and cried, knowing she would never see her grandfather again. I think of that scene every time I hear an interview with Ukrainians who have had to leave family members behind during the past week, not knowing if they will ever see their loved ones again.
Were my grandmother alive today, her heart would break for the Ukrainians fleeing Russian soldiers. She would also be amazed and delighted that the people of Ukraine elected Volodymyr Zelensky, a Jewish man, for their president, and she would pray for his continued strength and safety.
Amen.
Dina Towbin
What an amazing story! Your family history is incredible. Looking forward to seeing you soon! Much love
Jessie
It’s your family too!<3
Dina Towbin
Yes, you’re right. It’s an incredible history that brought us to where we are today!
Sephrah Towbin
Love you Jess
Lauris Burns
What an incredible story. Thanks for sharing it.
Sara Esrick
So beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Love you.
David Lasky
Such a harrowing story!
My people came from Ukraine and Belarus (I think they probably moved around a lot), and undoubtedly had hardships in their lives and in their immigrant journeys. But the specifics didn’t get handed down this far. I appreciate your story for reminding me that my ancestors probably survived hazards I can’t even imagine. Thank you for sharing this.
Years ago, I went to the Tenement Museum in NYC with a Jewish friend who had some grasp of where I could look for remnants of my family history. After seeing a tenement apartment and hearing about the conditions there, I told her that I felt weak compared to how tough my great-grandparents must have been. And she told me they were tough so that I wouldn’t have to be. I never forgot that.
Rose Mary Boehm
Absolutely hestbreaking. I thought we’d finished with this, having learned our lesson. But it’s a lesson that will never be heeded. Too much greed and hate. Thank you for sharing this story.
Jenny Love
Dear Jess,
Thank you for this beautifully written post. I loved learning the story of your grandmother Miriam’s fleeing Ukraine with her mother and brother. Your description of Miriam’s and her family’s perilous crossing of the frozen Dniester river is evocative–“indelible” is a perfect word for this heart-stopping story. How closely Miriam’s experience parallels that of other refugees 100 years later!
Thank you again for your wonderful, expressive, historically informed post.
Much love,
Jenny
Kathi
I really appreciated this post, Jessie. Such a painful reflection of history repeating itself. Your story has lingered in the back of my mind since reading it… “Not wanting to attract attention, she didn’t call out” – although her silence could have meant her own death, she feared for everyone’s. And the horrendous wrench of leaving people behind… Such universal pain.
You also bring your reader into a world that many are privileged not to have had to face. I thought of you again when I saw the poem below on https://www.rattle.com/
by Tatiana Dolgushina
WHEN WAR MAKES A CHILD
when Americans think about war, they think about men with guns, and soldiers in uniforms
when I think about war, I think about packing suitcases
I think about food shortages, I think about the economic collapse
I think about my grandmother, the one we had to leave behind
the one whose mother moved her from town to town, until they didn’t see a war anymore
the one who was left an orphan, in the middle of Siberia, with her 13-year-old sister to take care of her
when I think about war, I think about the cold walls of apartment buildings, I think about no heat in the house, I think about hotel rooms
I think about having to learn a new language in order to survive
when I think about war, I think about being a child, and standing on the coast of an ocean
where the wind blows just enough to make one paranoid, just enough to feel like war is right around the corner, right around and behind you, touching you
—from Poets Respond , March 6, 2022
Tatiana Dolgushina: “Russia and Ukraine are both my homeland, and I am a child refugee of the Soviet Union collapse of the ’90s. I was born in Russia and grew up in both countries before having to leave due to increasing violence and after my father was kidnapped in Ukraine. My poems deal with forever losing one’s home, the violent effect of war on a child, and the confusion and the loss that a child experiences before they can understand any of it. The western world has little understanding of witnessing war on their doorsteps, especially when young and vulnerable. The current Russia-Ukraine war has brought up many memories and emotions for me, recreating my childhood experiences all over again. I fear for the children and their families who are undergoing the same trauma that I experienced, which will displace and haunt them for the rest of their lives.”